In today’s world of immediate 24/7 access with technology there is a sense of always being “available” or “on call”… it can be difficult to switch off – and only too easy to just answer that e-mail on a Sunday, or just boost that marketing post on social media on a Friday night…
It seems difficult to reconcile “pausing” with busyness. But this is something which is absolutely crucial, especially during pregnancy, to ensure that you and your baby are healthy. The idea of carrying on bravely throughout pregnancy, with your daily job and gruelling schedule, insisting that nothing has changed, has been handed down from generations. But is this how you really want to carry on during your pregnancy? Are you actually lucky enough to have a choice?
My mother grew up in the war, so the thought of stopping working during pregnancy for her was alien. Things carried on as “normal”, resulting in her not enjoying her pregnancy and secretly resenting being pregnant as it was stopping her being and doing what she thought she wanted. In my pregnancies in the early 2000, my attitude unfortunately, was similar. I remember stating loudly to someone that “I was pregnant, not ill!” I am now painfully aware, that as a teacher during that time, I spent too long on my feet, unable to take a toilet break when I needed to, working unnecessarily hard into the evenings when I should have been resting and taking on all the stresses the job entailed. I remember standing precariously on ladders when I was 7 months’ pregnant, to re-do classroom displays, and even taking a group of children on a residential camping trip, without being able to take any medication for hayfever.
I carried on regardless with my exercise regime, resentful that my body was growing bigger. Needless to say, I ended up with post-natal depression with both of my children. Not that anyone knew that of course, because I carried on regardless…
So my point is, that attitudes do need to change. Especially attitudes of women towards women. Mothers and grandmothers towards the younger generation.
We now need to support our mothers in cherishing this time. In nurturing and nourishing themselves and their babies.
These beautiful ladies need to be supported in adjusting their mind-sets so that expressing their needs is considered a sign of strength. So that they are able to speak out, knowing that their needs will be met. Knowing that they can ask their partner for support without appearing “needy” or “weak” or “naggy”.
These generational patterns stem from the “Mother Wound” which is beautifully explained by Bethany Webster. In a nutshell, women are pulled subconsciously in opposing directions: by the need to step into their power, pulling away from their mother and her love, or by the need to please their mother to receive her love and therefore stay small themselves. Approval or Potential? Which one do you crave?
Surely, it is time to give yourself a break…. A physical, put your feet up and read kind of break – but also an emotional break. Some time out to switch off the negative voices in your head making you feel guilty – for not looking a certain way, or not behaving a certain way or not doing something “perfectly” – perhaps because you crave approval? Surely it’s time now to make time for you… to maybe take your foot off the gas and take life more sedately. To start to practise living life in a more-balanced way so that you can enjoy precious moments, beautiful in their simplicity, such as a rainbow, or a sunset, without rushing onto the next best thing.
I offer my clients short guided meditations to alleviate stress and anxiety and to be more mindful in the present moment, combined with Reiki healing or Wasui (healing in water) to deeply relax and connect with their growing baby, not only physically and emotionally, but on a deeper spiritual level too.